Sunday, August 28, 2011

And Other Times the Road is a Circle

After posting yesterday's blog which was metaphoric, I had the unique experience of walking in circles this morning as I did the metered exercise track in Olmos basin. While not actually a circle, more of an irregular oval, it dawned on me that sometimes to get where I am going, I have to walk around and around (this happens to be a 1/2 mile track) still following the old one step in front of the last ad infinitum-or so it seems at the time. But this time there is a very clear, well-defined destination, even though the track literally leads nowhere except round and round. The destination is to get into much better physical shape, something I can feel is happening very powerfully, even though I still cannot "see" it in my mirror. Believe me, at 5:30 am when the alarm goes off on a day I could sleep until noon, I do hesitate to get out of bed and do what must be done. But I do it. Since it will be 110 degrees here in SA today, I knew if I did not walk starting in the dark, that it would soon be too hot to go outside. Even as I left my home, the thermometer read 87 that is before 6am! As always nowadays, my camera was with me and I tried to capture some of the joy that I actually feel as I walk. By the way, I HATE THE WALKING, I HATE THE EXERCISE (almost entirely because I am in acute back pain the entire time I walk), but I absolutely have come to love the things I SEE on my exercise walks. So no endorphins for me. No "exercise addiction". Only a commitment I will not permit myself to violate, a promise to myself, a chance for my Daruma doll to someday gain his "second eye" and be "eyes wide open"(See
Saturday, June 4, 2011        Both Eyes Open: Lessons of a Daruma Doll). So yesterday I reached the end of the road and rather than return, I went off road into the future. Today I am again walking in circles. I love the paradox that is my life. I love the complexity. I love to talk about it! LOL

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